May. 22nd, 2011

casy_dee: (Default)
Oookay.  So I go out with some folks in my class tonight, trying to be all sociable-like.  Not bad, but kinda boring.  I plan on leaving at midnight, but one of the other girls says she's staying a 1/2 hour longer.  Damn it.  So I stay, then call the cab at 12:30.  Cab comes at 12:45 and I can't find her.  Finally get a text, she's staying.  Damn it.  I would have left at midnight. *sigh*

Rant part 2: One of the guys asks me if I was upset about our last "peer assessment."  Peer assessment.  Ridiculous.  Call it a popularity contest.  I answer that yes, I was.  I felt like I did a lot of things for the class and I wasn't rated very high.  He proceeded to tell me that he admired a lot of things about me, but that I come across as acting like I was better than everyone else.  He also said that I was a bit less tactful than I should be.  

Am pretty upset.  I don't think I'm better than anyone.  As a matter of fact, I have been feeling quite the opposite since I've been here.  I don't measure myself against them, I measure myself against my own standards, and no... mediocre is not good enough.  *sigh*  I think I'm a freak.  I don't understand the way people think sometimes.  I don't understand jealousy and I don't understand this either.  Gah.  This is why I don't usually even try to socialize.  I fucking hate people. (not individual persons, but just in general)


casy_dee: (Default)

January 2015


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